flagrant foul

1.  Chris “Beanie” Wells is fast.  He’s fast, he’s big, and he’s strong.  Did you see that stiff arm, Wells straight beasted LSU’s Chevis Jackson (Chevis? – more on names later).

2.  In the promos for “The Moment of Truth,” Entertainment Weekly dubs the show as “The end of Western Civilization.”  Really, with all the current filth on TV, this show spawns the apocalypse.  I’m not worried, however, after the infamous 2 girls and 1 cup (DON’T LOOK IT UP) I’m ready for anything.

3.  I’m a huge fan of that new Hewlett-Packer with Serena Williams.  Who better to be part of a commercial campaign in which celebrities are shot from the neck down, and we even get booty shots – well done, people of the Hewlett-Packer marketing team.

4.  The Strokes are in a Sync commercial.  This is a greater sign that Western Civilization is headed in a downward spiral.  Ok, so it’s not that drastic, but it’s at least disappointing.  This is the last commercial I write about, promise.

5.  Did you see JaMarcus Russell’s shirt during halftime?  His outfit was almost as outrageous as his name.  Since when did people start putting prefixes on names?  “Marcus is a good name, let’s put Ja in front of it.”  My friend Mark and I are always looking for prefix names.  He discovered Knowshon Moreno earlier this year.  Not only is it a prefix name, but the parents decided to spell “Shawn” the only remaining way.  Mission accomplished. 

6.  Chris Rose at halftime:           

“Every team that has led at halftime has won the BCS National Championship game.  That’s bad news for your Buckeyes, Eddie (George).”

He then proceeded in his attempt to jinx LSU by pulling out a Matt Flynn doll that had needles poked into its right arm.

7.  If you’re not a fast defense, which Ohio State isn’t, then you better be a solid tackling defense, which Ohio State isn’t.

8.  The LSU pass rush defense was unstoppable.  The SEC is known for their speed, while the Big 10 is known for their strength.  Commentator Charles Davis alluded to the matchup as “speed verse strength.”  A more accurate portrayal would be “speed and strength verse strength.”

9.  The Big 10 simply can’t compete against the SEC.  And unfortunately, for Ohio State, they’ve been the constant variable in this experiment.

10.  After a sound beat-down of the Buckeyes, the crowd in New Orleans honored their Tigers and their conference.

“SEC!  SEC!  SEC!  SEC!  SEC!  SEC!  SEC!  SEC!”SEC!  SEC!  SEC!”

By Matt Martino